I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
