you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
