talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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