Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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