Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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