I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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