you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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