my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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