im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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