chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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