Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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