The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
