Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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