UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
