The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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