this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
