erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
