the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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