batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
try to milk me bitch
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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