I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
