I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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