Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
