Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
