we have pet lesbian snakes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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