thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
