Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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