I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
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czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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