It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
