How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
