he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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