I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
