I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
