If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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