Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
