This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
