my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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