some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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