The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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