Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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