you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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