Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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