i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
