But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
