your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
