He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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