guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
