Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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