remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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