Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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