You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
