the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
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Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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