Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
