need another drink. this is the easiest way
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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